Depending upon your point of view, dating is either easier or harder as you get…
With so much dating advice that is available on the Internet, it can be confusing to know which advice is good and which advice is bad. That’s because everyone happens to say different things when it comes to dating. There are many self-proclaimed dating gurus out there who will even give you outrageous advice that makes you end up with nothing more than a disastrous date.
You can use the following super effective tips to improve your dating skills and impress your date regardless of whether:
- you’ve been on several dates before,
- you’re about to go on you first date,
- you’re planning the perfect date with a very important woman, or
- you’re a shy guy who always had trouble impressing women.
1. Improve Your Conversational Skills
If you are expecting a mysterious, little known secret, sorry to disappoint you. It’s no secret that a guy who knows how to flatter a woman with his smooth talk will have great success with women. There’s no hocus-pocus involved when trying to improve your conversational skills when on a date, there is no way around this so you’d better be prepared to put some effort into it.
Knowing exactly what to say during a date is difficult, but on the other hand, it’s easy enough to know what NOT to say:
- Don’t ask her about things that put her on the spot – Don’t ask questions like “So do you like kids?” or “Why did you break up with your ex?” or “Do you always watch what you eat?” Needless to say, these questions will make her feel uncomfortable and feel like you’re not on a date but in a fancy interrogation room.
- Don’t ask pointless questions – These are questions that you can’t follow up on that make the whole conversation pointless and boring. Examples: “What time do you sleep at night?” or “What’s your favorite color?” or “How many best friends do you have?” These are the types of uninteresting questions asked by unwitting, clueless guys who’ll most likely struggle to get another date.
- Don’t talk about how much you earn – You can talk about work, but not in detail. Just talk about what you do briefly and leave it at that. Don’t give her monetary figures because telling her how much you earn, no matter how big, will make her feel that you think you can seduce her with your money. That works only if your date’s a gold digger.
- Don’t focus on YOURSELF – Women love to talk about themselves. Talk about yourself if it comes up, but keep your interests in the background and draw attention to hers. If she’s into something you’re not familiar with, ask her to tell you more about it. Feigning expertise on a subject you’re not even familiar with is like jumping headfirst down a pit full of sharp stakes. Acting interested in her hobbies and interests will earn you serious brownie points.
Keep in mind that if you want to impress a girl on your date, you have to make her feel special. If you ask her questions, you should listen to her and expand the conversation based on her answers. Again, don’t make it like you’re grilling a murder suspect. The conversation should be light and fun that shows her you have great interest in the things she does and you respect her opinion.
2. Master the Art of Complimenting A Woman
It’s not enough to simply compliment a woman, you must know how to do it correctly. Compliments are good, they set the mood for a better, more relaxed and comfortable meeting. A well aimed compliment can break the ice and penetrate even the frostiest facade so it’s really worth it to know the art of complimenting the fairer sex.
What’s the right way of complimenting a woman?
- Don’t compliment her too often – A woman will take her time making herself attractive to her date. She does that with the hope that you notice and appreciate her. So complimenting her on how she looks will really flatter her and even increase her interest in you. However, do not overdo it. A woman will get tired if you throw her compliments every 10-20 minutes. Complimenting her once will be enough and will make her feel good.
- Don’t give her the same compliment every time – Telling her she’s really pretty or that her dress really looks good on her every time you go on a date will make you predictable and appear like you’re not putting in any effort. Don’t focus your compliments on her body or looks, instead also compliment her on her intelligence, how good she is at what she does, her good taste and so on.
- Improve your verbal vocabulary – This will help you dish out more meaningful compliments to your date. Your date probably heard compliments like “you’re really pretty” or “you’re beautiful” before so telling her exactly the same thing will NOT set you apart from the other guys. You will just be ‘another date’ to her and probably not remember the night after a week. Try words like elegant, stunning, dazzling, enticing, exquisite, etc. – any word that are not as generic as ‘pretty’ and ‘beautiful’.
- Be observant so you can come up with the right compliment – When you look at your date, closely look at the details of her face, her features that appear unique and stand out, and compliment her on those. Once a man told a woman on their first date “how amazing her eyes are, they’re a shade of blue like he has never seen anywhere!” They are now married for 14 years. Perhaps you’re not looking as far as marriage when it comes to the relationship you want to forge with your date, but it’s still true that a good compliment can go a long way.
- Be honest while being careful – Honesty is always a good thing but your date may not take it too kindly or she could be offended if you come across too bluntly. Do not give off phony compliments because women can almost always sense when you’re not being honest. If you’re with a special girl, the one that you really want to have a meaningful relationship with, then you must be extra careful so as not to blow your chances away. Always avoid references to her weight or to her being emotional on some topics because these can be misinterpreted.
Make your date feel good about herself by complimenting her, but do not overdo it. Otherwise, you may never see her again.
3. Be the Perfect Gentleman
Show the ladies that chivalry is not dead! Despite their talks of equal rights and of independence and how they can do anything a man can do, women really loves it when men show them courtesy.
- If you are going to pick her up, go up to her door instead of just sitting and waiting in the car and honking. Escort her to the car and open the door for her. If you’re dining, pull her seat for her and let her order first. When you see her glass empty, offer to have it refilled.
- Keep your attention on her and avoid allowing your eyes to wander around or follow other girls. Ogling other women is simply being rude, why ask her out if you’re not going to give her all your attention anyway?
- Pay for everything, and if she offers to pay for her share, decline politely and insist that ‘it’s your pleasure’.
- No matter how smitten you are by her, keep your hands in check. Grasping and touching her is the quickest way to turn her off. Remember that a dinner invitation, even to the most expensive restaurant in town, is not necessarily reciprocated in the bedroom. You are both still in the stage of getting to know each other and ‘jumping’ her suddenly will scare her off.
- When it’s time to go home, walk her to her door. Again, be the perfect gentleman.
4. Take Things Slowly
Should you kiss her?
Judge from how the date went to see what is appropriate: a hug, a kiss on the lips, a kiss on the cheek or just a friendly hand shake. Most women allow a kiss and offer either their cheek or lips when you lean over. If you kiss her, keep it PG 13 and keep off her bosom and backside area. There’s always a proper time for getting physical and you will almost always know that because she will be giving you hints that she’s ready to be more intimate.
What if she asks you to come in?
If it is your first date with her, be respectful and don’t ask to come in for a nightcap or to ‘use the bathroom’ that may just send the wrong signal. Simply decline and reserve that for the second date. You won’t be missing out on anything by declining, you’re just telling her you are a true gentleman and making her respect you more. Besides, this will create anticipation and leave her wanting more. Don’t rush, instead savor the moment and have fun. If things go well, there will surely be many more dates.
So What’s Next After the Date?
Call her to arrange the next date, of course. The real question here is WHEN to call her. Some will tell you to wait several days before finally calling her. Waiting will just make her think that you are not interested in her so she will simply move on.
It’s advisable to call her the next day and thank her for a wonderful time. Call her, don’t send her an SMS or a message on her Facebook. You’re a man, give her a call. If things clicked for the both of you, then ask for another date. What if she’s not there? Leave her a message, thank her and ask her to call back. If she calls back then that is a really good sign, go for a next date. If she does not return your call for 48 hours, you may give her another call. If she does not call you back, that simply means she’s not interested in you, and you can look for other options.
These are the most important tips any man who is trying to improve his dating skills should know. Learning how to become a good conversationalist can keep your date entertained. Knowing how to compliment her can increase her interest in you, make her feel comfortable and look forward to future dates with you. Being a gentleman assures her that she is safe with you, and that she made the right decision to be with you. Not rushing her increases her confidence and trust in you and even encourages her to make the first steps towards a deeper, more intimate relationship.