Life after divorce can be a confusing and emotional time for many people. You may…
1. Be witty with your pickup lines
The first time you approach a woman; don’t try to impress her with intelligent conversation right from the start. Instead, you need to focus on being cute and clever so that you can get her phone number or at least give her yours. Cliché pickup lines may seem like the way to go, but you’d be better finding a genuine opener that she probably has not already heard a thousand times.
2. Be completely real
Women have a way of recognizing a phony guy. Therefore, it is important to always be yourself instead of trying to impress a woman by being something that you are not. Even if they fall for it in the beginning they will figure you out in time.
3. Keep her guessing
Women like a challenge as much as men. Therefore, it’s not necessary to work hard to show her just how much you like her. Let the relationship bloom over time and just enjoy the trip! Don’t be secretive or avoid her questions however, when she shows interest in your life by asking questions it is important to give her the answer.
4. Avoid awkward silences
When you’re chatting with a woman, be careful to avoid the awkward silence when there is a lull in conversation. Have some witty lines in mind for keeping the conversation moving. Having a witty one liner will most likely get the ladies laughing and make you stand out from the rest in just a few seconds.
5. Make a compliment to start a conversation
A single compliment is often the best way to get the attention of a busy woman. For example, if you are grocery shopping and you see a woman you’d like to meet consider approaching her and giving her a very simple compliment to start up a conversation. After a few minutes, ask her for her phone number and tell her you’ll call later to continue the chat. Don’t forget to call when you say you will, otherwise she may get the wrong impression.
6. If you say you’re going to call, then call
This is a common mistake that many men make. If you tell a woman that you are going to call at seven p.m., they will be waiting for your call. Making them wait, or never calling, is rude and most women will become quickly uninterested in a man who doesn’t follow through.
7. Send flowers
Women love to receive flowers and any day is a good day to send or hand deliver a seasonal bouquet. Women are most impressed when a man seems to know just the right flowers and just the right occasion. And remember that women like surprises, so send her flowers when she’s least expecting it.
8. Be emotionally prepared
Many men forget that even the first date could be the start of a long term relationship if things go well. Prepare yourself mentally for the idea that the first, second or later date could be the night where you fall in love. Being unprepared can leave you less open to the woman that you are dating and give her the impression that you’re either not interested or just not ready.
9. Don’t start dating immediately after a break-up
After ending one relationship, it is a bad idea to start another one right away. If you do, then the negative feelings you may be experiencing, or the shadow of your former partner, may loom and keep you from truly enjoying the dating experience. So take some time to regroup and make sure that you’re ready before you start dating again.
10. Be prepared for rejection
Dating is a scary proposition for men and women alike. There is always a risk that you will enjoy being with your date more than she enjoys being with you, or that you will feel chemistry that she does not. Remember that rejection is part of dating and that everyone feels rejection at one point or another during their lives.
11. Be positive
Women are not interested in men with low self-esteem or those who seem to have a completely negative outlook. Show your lady the value of positive thinking. And don’t try to fake it! You need to adopt an overall positive attitude to show her what you have to offer.
12. Be unique
There’s no rule to say that the first date must always be dinner and a movie. If you have a favorite art gallery, museum or jazz club, consider taking your date to one of the places that you truly enjoy. Be unique and make your date an evening to remember for both of you.
13. Don’t be arrogant
Women do not generally fall for men who are full of themselves so avoid spending the evening rattling on about your accomplishments and possessions. If you do, then your date may think that you are simply putting on an act to impress her. Be yourself and let her find out about your accomplishments and successes in time.
14. Be a good listener
When your date is talking, she may be giving you clues about herself that could help you win your way into her heart. If you spend all of your time talking or simply pretending you are listening to her, then you are likely to miss out on something important. Also, keep eye contact when she is talking so that she can see that you are genuinely interested in what she has to say.
15. Don’t tell everything about yourself on the first date
If you reveal everything there is to know about you on the first date, what else is left? Instead, keep her guessing. Women are creative by nature and most prefer to imagine what you are really like for at least the first few dates. So, take your time revealing your secrets and keep the mystery alive.
16. Keep your eyes on your date
Women are put off by men who spend the entire evening checking out other women. Even if you are not interested in your date, you owe her the courtesy of keeping her as your center of attention. You can always head out the next evening with your buddies to check out the other women in town.
17.Be witty with short and smart replies
If you are not much of a talker, have witty and smart replies. Many men simply prefer to listen instead of talking. If this is the case with you, let the lady do the talking. But always show interest by asking questions or commenting on what she has to say.
18. Never admit a fear of commitment
At least not on the first date. If you are interested in a woman, the last thing you want to tell her right off the bat is that you are not interested in having a long term relationship. If you have a fear of commitment or don’t want to be in a relationship at all, then it is good to be honest. But, if you are really interested in someone you should take some time to determine if maybe you just hadn’t come across the right person in the past.
19. Don’t be possessive
Women do not like to be treated as possessions and most will turn and run at the first sign of a possessive man. Let her know that you value her independence as much as she does – and mean it. Being possessive tells a woman that you are lacking self-confidence, so be confident and appreciate her value as a strong and independent person.
20. Look good for every date
Unless you have agreed in advance to dress casually, it is important to spend time to look good for dates. Every woman spends hours preparing for every day, so return the favor. While you may not spend hours getting ready, you should be particular about what you wear and whether you are properly groomed. A neat appearance reflects on you more than you might realize. It makes you appear more confident, organized and responsible.
21. Wear good shoes
Believe it or not, many women will judge men simply based on what shoes they wear. If you’ve spent hours picking out the perfect outfit, you need to spend some time making sure that you are wearing just the right shoes as well. Clean and well-tended shoes are a reflection on you, just as dirty and worn shoes are. So unless you’re going to a baseball game you are better to leave your sneakers at home!
22. Get a dating wardrobe
If you want to be prepared no matter what the occasion, you should always have on hand a black suit, several pressed dress shirts in various colors and casual trousers with a matching sports coat. Don’t forget the shoes! You should have two or three pairs of modern and comfortable dress shoes that match the rest of your wardrobe. With these essentials on hand, you will always be prepared.
23. Avoid cheap cologne
If you do not have a bottle of high quality cologne, it is better to either buy one or to avoid wearing any. Women appreciate men who smell good and would prefer to avoid men who smell cheap. So invest in a classic scent and wear it sparingly.
24. Show some ambition
Women prefer to date men with ambition. Be prepared to answer questions about what you plan to do in the future. Remember that any job is better than having no job and that a career is best. If you want to impress, you need to have your life in order. Therefore, take some time to consider your future ambitions.
25. Be aware of what is going on in the world
Staying current on world events and current affairs can provide you with lots of interesting conversation starters. Another great one is travel. Before your date think about some of the interesting places you’ve been and have some ideas on how to use the details of your travel if there is a lull in the conversation.
26. Use your best manners and be chivalrous
Women are very impressed by men who have good manners. And, even the most progressive female will notice chivalrous acts. So, open the door for her and help her into the car. And don’t forget that napkin! It belongs in your lap. Manners are small details that women pay attention to, so if you are out of practice it might be a good time to hone your skills.
27. Learn to dance
Women love to dance. If your date is out there on the dance floor while you are sitting and watching, you may watch her dance away with someone else! Be comfortable with yourself and get out there. Maybe you want to consider some dance lessons or a dance class. This might even be an activity that the two of you can enjoy together.
28. Pay attention to your appearance
Understand how important your appearance is. Take the time to shower and shave before your dates and always make the extra effort with your appearance. In need of a haircut? Go get one before you meet her! Otherwise, your date may make a decision about whether to go out with you again the second you step out of the car. Sometimes appearances can be misleading, but you still need to make an effort to ensure that your appearance gets her attention in a good way.
29. Compliment her
Don’t be overly effusive, but make consistent and genuine compliments in her direction throughout the evening. This is an excellent way to get her attention, to let her know that you think she looks great and to let her know you’re interested. Women like to know when men are attracted to them and compliments are an excellent vehicle for delivering the message!
30. Ask questions to get her talking
If your date is shy, she may have a difficult time starting a conversation on the first date. Take the time to ask questions that she can answer. Ask her what she likes to do on Saturday evenings or Sunday mornings. Or, ask her about the last movie she saw. This way, you are showing a genuine interest in getting to know more about her and are making her feel comfortable opening up to you.
31. Don’t lead her on
Although you should make every effort to make the date enjoyable for both of you, don’t prolong the evening if you simply are not interested in a second date. Walk her to the door, thank her for a nice evening and walk away if you want to keep the end of the evening brief. If you are interested, you need to let her know that you would love to see her again. Either way, you need to make every effort not to lead a woman on because it is rude and insensitive.
32. Play tourist
Chances are that if you have lived in your city for some time, you’ve forgotten what it was like to be a newcomer. Consider taking your next date out for a sightseeing trip, even if you are both locals. This is a fun and exciting way to connect with each other while reconnecting with your city.
33. Consider lunchtime for a first date
Many times, it’s difficult to decide just how much time should be spent on the first date. Generally, the first date should be fairly brief. Therefore, lunch time is a good choice when it can be arranged. This way, there are time constraints during the week that keep the date to a short time period. If things go well, you might consider a second lunch or move on to asking her out for an evening.
34. Consider going out for coffee
People are getting away from traditional dinner dates, and a coffee shop can make an excellent first date location as it gives you a quiet, yet public place, to chat and get to know each other. Costs are minimal and there’s no predetermined rule that says you can’t take your coffee to go if things aren’t working out. And, coffee shops are a relaxed atmosphere where you can be comfortable and just be yourself.
35. Go to the theater
Although most men would prefer to avoid the theatre, women love it. Surprise your date with tickets to a play, opera or even a ballet. You might find that the exposure to the arts sparks wonderful conversation or the beginning of an interest that you can both enjoy.
36. Be flirty
It’s not just the woman’s job to be flirty. If you are interested, show it. Winking is a quick and easy flirtation that women will recognize immediately as a sign that you are interested. Eye contact and genuine smiles are also considered by women to be very flirtatious. So, be yourself but don’t forget those little gestures to let her know that you’re interested.
37. Ask her choice about the time and location of the date
When asking a woman out for the first time, offer her a choice about the timing and location. Many women would prefer week-night dates because they do not cut into her weekend plans or because they are simply more convenient. Therefore, it is nice to ask her whether she prefers Wednesday or Saturday evening. If you do not know the woman well, consider letting her pick where you will have dinner or at least ask her if she has a food preference. This will come across as sensitive and show the woman that you are setting out to give her a wonderful evening.
38. Recognize lame excuses
If a woman tells you that she’s busy every time you ask her out, there is a good chance she is never going to say yes. However, if she has something that is absorbing excess time such as a sick relative or a big project at work, it may not be you at all. If a woman turns you down several times, you would be wise to give her your number and tell her to call when she’s free or to simply stop asking and move on.
39. Don’t be afraid to approach someone you are interested in
Sometimes, fear of rejection or nerves keep men from approaching women who catch their eye. The worst that can happen is that she could tell you she’s not interested. Start with a compliment and feel good knowing that even if she’s not interested, the compliment you give her may keep her smiling all afternoon.
40. Avoid dating women who appear overly tired or stressed
If you know the woman and she’s simply having a bad week, that’s one thing. But asking out a woman who is having a hard time dealing with something in her life should be a warning sign. Unless you are prepared to spend the evening listening to her issues, you are far better off waiting until she comes around and gets her life together.
41. Be a good “bad guy”
Women love bad guys. They present a challenge and appear more masculine than men who walk the straight and narrow all of the time. Therefore, you need to develop your own bad boy streak while maintaining the straight and narrow. Women are more interested in men who tend to stray from the beaten path every so often.
42. Remember the basics of dating
Dating is about having fun and getting to know the other person. It is not about deciding on the first date whether this is the woman you want to settle down with. You might decide that on your own, but that’s not the point of the normal first date! It is your responsibility to make sure that your date has an enjoyable evening and to ensure that she gets home safely.
43. Show strength of character
Women want to be with men they can respect. Therefore, it is important to demonstrate signs of good character to the women that you date by being polite, using your manners, offering to pay the bill and letting her pay half if she insists. Show her that you are worth spending time with and that you will always be kind and respectful of her and others, and you are going to make a great impression from the very first date.
44. Know in advance what you are looking for
Men often set out to find Ms. Right without defining for themselves the traits that woman will have. Take a few minutes to think about the traits that you would like to see in a long term partner. You’re not getting any younger, so once you have that list make a decision about whether the women you are dating now offer what you are looking for.
45. View dating like the lottery
Don’t make the mistake of expecting every date to be perfect. Instead, look at dating like the lottery and realize that sometimes you win and sometimes you don’t. And, most likely you are only going to hit big once. Even though you won’t necessarily find Ms. Right the first time around, keep trying. Dating is fun and there is a world full of women out there for you to get to know.
46. Keep a sense of humor
Even the worst dates can give you something to laugh about later, and keeping your sense of humor alive will keep the dating process fun and interesting. Keep that sense of humor with your dates as well and it will make it easier for the two of you to laugh off any dating mishaps that might otherwise be embarrassing.
47. Don’t let a woman waste your time
Make every effort to be on time, every time. This shows respect for yourself and your date. Also, expect the same in return. If she’s a few minutes late it should not be an issue, but if she shows up 30 minutes late every time you have plans, think about what that tells you about her character and priorities.
48. Be cautious
Do not believe everything you see and hear until you have had time to truly experience. Remember that on first dates and even second dates, women are putting their best foot forward to impress you. Take some time to really get to know her and whether what you are seeing after a few dates is what you were seeing on the first few.
49. Consider being friends when there is no chemistry
Realize that someone with whom you have no chemistry for dating might make an excellent friend. If you are on a date with someone and neither of you sense any romantic chemistry, it does not mean that you can’t be friends. Dating is considered a great way to find new friends and as long as neither of you has a romantic interest in the other a platonic friendship could blossom and form a life long bond.
50. Develop a friendship with your partner
Dating is about getting to know potential mates, and one of the most important facets of any romantic relationship is friendship. While you may spend the first few dates focusing on the romance, be sure to spend some time developing a friendship as well. Your partner should be your best friend and if you want to form a life time relationship with someone, it is important to give as much attention to your friendship as you do to the romantic side of the relationship.
51. Be willing to trust
Men are often reluctant to open up to others, particularly women, as a way of protecting themselves from getting hurt. If you want to get to know a woman, you will need to open up to her in order to get her to do the same with you. While you might not want to reveal your innermost desires on the first date, after a while it is important to let her know what you want out of life.