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Dating Tips For Seniors – Finding Love and Romance Later In Life

Dating Tips For Seniors - Finding Love and Romance Later In Life

Dating As A Senior

You are contemplating asking her out for your first date. The problem is you don’t know whether you can do it. You know you can ask her out, the difficulty is if you can do it the right way. It has been decades since you asked anyone out. Not only have you changed, but so, too, has dating. It is a whole, new world out there and you are not sure whether you can take it on without flopping miserably.

Such anxieties are quite natural, especially for older people who have not dated anyone for a long time. You want to make sure you clinch the date. You do not want to be rejected and feel miserable. If you do nothing, however, someone else may ask her out. You will then be left at home going nowhere and not doing what you really want to do.

Your Reasons for Dating

In fact, the first thing you need to do is to look closely at what you do want and be honest. Why are you interested in asking this woman out in the first place? The reasons do vary from when you started dating years ago, but they could be any of the following:

  • Someone to talk to
  • A friend to go to movies, concerts and parties
  • Companionship
  • Someone to do my washing, cooking and cleaning
  • A person to take care of me
  • Someone to share the rest of my life with
  • Sex

Whatever your reason, you need to be honest. You also need to realize the first person you ask out may not match your criteria. You have to realize that you must have several dates to find what and whom you want. You also have to be ready for rejection. Not everyone you ask will want to go out with you. They all have their reasons. Let’s just hope it has nothing to do with your current track record. If you suspect this to be true, you need to carefully consider the advice in the following section.

Obstacles To Dating

As a senior, it is quite possible to run into some problems when dating a women as times have considerably changed since you had your first date decades ago.

Change in Dating Habits

One of the major obstacles to dating is the change in dating habits. Women have become more liberal as time has sped on. They assume a first date is just that. They no longer feel so obligated to find a partner. In fact, the women you ask out have probably been married in the past and divorced or widowed. Depending upon their experience, they may not want to marry again – ever. It is their prerogative.

Things to Do and Places to Go

Another problem is to decide where to go. If you once enjoyed going to nightclubs or single bars, you are unlikely to find any specifically designed with senior dating in mind. If your date likes such things as jazz or folk, you can still find several of these clubs. These venues are usually quieter. You can actually talk and quietly dine. There are also older dance clubs where you can learn and have a good time dancing.

Finding a place to take your date is part of the challenge. You can go to a library or bookstore. Here, you can catch a lecture or a book signing. Sometimes, these places host book clubs. A discussion of the authors in a group setting can help you break the ice. Conversation can flow more easily if you have something about which the both of you can talk.

If you are still active, take her to a sporting event. Better yet, go off and play tennis. Take a brisk walk or hike scenic trails together. You may decide to go to an art gallery for an opening or a museum. Why not take her antiquing or to a farmers’ market or flea market. This provides you with plenty of things to look at and on which to converse. Perhaps there is a fair is in town or a special lecture somewhere.

Always consider what the two of you have in common. Always take into account the degree of mobility you two are capable of maintaining. If she is a sedentary person, stick with something quiet, with places you can sit down and talk. It could be a lunch or dinner date. It could also be a park or botanical garden with benches scattered in strategic spots.

If you both like sports, go golfing, catch a baseball game, go to the track or play tennis. Make the most of the date. Seize the opportunity to make it comfortable and memorable. If you want to see her again, you have to give her a reason why she should do so.

Preparing To Ask Her Out

One way to prepare yourself for asking her out is to get to know her closely. Knowing something about her besides her name will help you determine whether you are compatible. It will indicate common interests. It will also help you to decide whether your needs/wants and her needs/wants have any common ground.

Doing your homework may also help you relax when you actually ask the question. You will have more than an idea of who she is and what she likes. This may increase the chances of your dating venture to be successful. You will know what she might want to go to see. This will improve your confidence in yourself. It helps you ask her. Be confident, but do not be cocky.

Attitude

In fact, one of the major problems with many senior men is attitude. They know single senior women outnumber them. As a result, some feel they are doing a woman a favor by asking her out, but in reality you are not. Abandon any condescending tones or mannerisms. Some women are divorced because they have had enough of this same attitude. They do not owe their happiness to a man.

Vanity

Another problem is vanity. Do not lie about your age. You should be proud you are still alive and functioning at your old age. You have experience, and hopefully have accumulated wisdom in some form or other. Moreover, sooner or later, the truth of these matters always comes out. When it does, it will throw some doubts on your credibility in other areas. This will decrease your chances of obtaining any more dates.

Honesty

In fact, it is important to be honest about your intent and what you say. By now, older women have a built-in lie detector. They are as experienced as you are, and not easily fooled. You need to be direct in your approach. You need to ask the question in a plain and clear manner. You also need to make it clear that this is a first date and not a lifetime commitment. Some women may want to date you for fun and companionship only. They may not have the same goals as you do.

Direct Approach

So how do you, as a senior, ask another senior out on a first date? At your age, you can afford to be more direct. You can be straightforward and ask her if she would like to go to such and such event on such and such a day. You can mention you have heard musical is coming to town. Would she like to go with you?

This is a simple approach, but it does usually require either a “Yes” or “No” answer. It may be too specific for some. It may leave you feeling too open to rejection. Yet, if this works for you, use it. If it doesn’t, opt for a more open-ended or indirect approach. You can ask her if she would like to go out sometime. You could mention you are going to a concert or movie and have an extra ticket. She is welcome to join you.

Indirect Approach

The indirect approach is one without apparent pressure. It expresses a desire to date without locking it in. The woman can mull it over, accept immediately or let it go. She can do so without instantly rejecting you. The problem with this approach is that you may feel obligated to wait around for an answer that may never come.

Another possible option is to make the date inclusive. You can ask her to be part of several seniors, couples and singles, on a trip or excursion. In this way, you can arrange to engage her without placing the onus of rejection on you. She may reject the outing but not, necessarily, you. Going on a group event also takes some of the stress of making conversation off of you. At the same time, you may not learn as much about her as you had hoped.

Importance Of Conversation With Your Date

No matter whether you date as a couple or in a group, conversation remains an important part. You will need to talk and listen. Try to do so more or less in equal amounts. Do not try to dominate or control the conversation. Try to find a common ground. You will know what to talk about if you have done your homework. You will also be able to have a readily available topic if you have just gotten out of a specific event.

Talk about your past, but do not dwell on it. Do not spend all your time lecturing on something such as the faults of today’s youths, economy, politics, etc. Also, do not talk continuously about your former wives or dates. If all she does is nod, you are not getting anywhere. If her eyes begin to glaze over, and she glances continually at the clock, you really do need to change the topic of the conversation.

Try a touch of humor and make her laugh. Women like men who make them laugh. Try for honesty and sincerity. Above all, remember, this is a first date. It may be the start of something special for you!

Is True Love on the Horizon for You?

According to a recent survey, 29% of singles who visited psychics were told they will find true love in 2022. To find out more about the survey results, visit PsychicReading.com.

 

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