Whether you have been married for only a brief period of time, many years, or…
If one or both of you has turned your listening ears off or away from the other then there is trouble brewing in your marriage. Listening is an essential element of communication. Once listening starts to occur with less and less frequency in a marriage, it is a sign that something is wrong and your relationship could be in serious jeopardy.
Before you immediately lash out at your spouse for not listening to you, think about whether or not you listen to him or her. Make sure your own listening skills are up to par before you begin pointing the finger at your spouse. Consider that perhaps he or she is not the one to blame for the poor communication that has developed between the two of you.
What is your delivery like when you have something to say? If you have the tendency to be long-winded then you would do well to curb that. Taking too long to say something can cause you to lose your spouse’s attention and it can be boring. Say what you need to say in the fastest way possible.
Do you take over during a conversation? If you think you have a monopoly when you are discussing something, then this explains while your partner tunes you out or walks out of the room when you are talking. Take a breath and let the other person have the opportunity to speak. A conversation involves two people after all, not just one.
Your partner is likely to become defensive, angry or self-protective and put walls up if you fight dirty. In other words if you say unkind, insulting or disrespectful things when having a discussion then this is why your spouse is not listening to you. Do not attack your spouse in any way. Work with the one you love, not against him or her.
The same came be said if you have a history of trying to manipulate your partner. No wonder they tell you that they don’t want to talk, much less listen. No one wants, needs or deserves to be manipulated in any manner. Stop doing this. State clearly how you feel. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
Do not take on the position of lawyer or instructor during a talk. Remember that the two of you are equals in your marriage. Do not constantly question your spouse’s words and do not lecture or preach to your significant other. You do not run your personal life the same as your professional life. Do not talk down to your partner and do not talk at him or her – talk to the one you love.
Whoever said timing is everything must have been married! There are times when trying to talk to your partner is pointless because it is simply not a good time. For example, do not try to start a conversation when your husband is engrossed in a football game on television or when he is busy at work on the computer. Do not try to talk when he or she is tired, in a bad mood, preoccupied with other things or involved in some type of project or chore. Communicate to your partner and ask if it is a good time to talk or not. If the answer is not right now then accept that, do not pout but be ready to talk when the time is right.