There’s a problem with using lie detecting techniques when trying to figure out if your spouse is cheating on you. The problem is that there has to be something to lie about. In many cases, that means you’ll have to go out of your way to bring up topics that can easily tip him or her off to the suspicion. Lies will happen on their own though from time to time, especially when they start making excuses for where they’ve been at night.
When the opportunity arises, use the techniques below to spot a lie. Remember though, none of them are guaranteed and she be used as guiders only and not the means for suddenly breaking out divorce papers.
Watch the eyes move
This is amongst the most commonly known tells for when a person is lying. When a person lies their eyes tend to shift to the left. That’s because that’s the side of the brain the creativity comes from. No, they aren’t actually trying to actually look at that side of the brain, but it just happens to be a natural reaction. Looking to the right, incidentally, means someone is trying to remember something.
Look for eye contact
Whether or not a person makes eye contact while lying depends on the relationship you have with that person. People who really don’t care about losing your trust will have no problem looking you in the eye, while a loved one will have more difficulty.
Check out their expression
The entirety of a person’s emotional expression is relevant. Are they smiling with their mouth or with their whole face? Liars, and bad actors, will often express emotion on the topic at hand by using their mouth (as in smiling or frowning). When someone is expressing a genuine emotion their whole face will be involved. A true smile will actually go up to the eyes and the brow.
What are their hands doing
Liars like to fidget. Fidgeters also like to fidget, so be wary of using this technique if you know your spouse has antsy hands that can’t keep to themselves. Okay, that’s probably not the best way to refer to an alleged cheaters hand, but nonetheless it’s the truth. Another thing to be wary of is that liars like to touch their mouths as they are telling a lie.
Listen to the details
An unusually over detailed anecdote can be a nasty sign. It may show that your spouse is trying too hard to make up an alibi to his or her whereabouts. Still, details are great. Listen close and pick out a good one to bring up later. Use something that was said in passing like “And then I had cheesecake with…” Chances are the cheesecake is a forgettable detail, if it is in fact a lie. So, wait a day and then ask how it was.
Please remember that one of the worst things that can happen to a marriage is mistrust. Don’t let these signs destroy trust all on their own, nor should you assume that a lie necessarily means cheating.