When you lose your significant other, it may seem like you’ll never be able to recover and love again. It is one of the most painful things you’ll ever have to face. While there is no way you can completely avoid the pain of loss, it is important that you understand that there are some simple things you can do to shorten your time of mourning so that you can find happiness, and even love, again.
One thing that is vitally important is that you allow yourself time to mourn. Cry, scream, run around in your robe, eat ice cream, or all of the above. It’s important that you let out some of the pain that you feel. This will make you feel a little better. You can’t just push it all down and pretend like you’re not hurting, if you do that the pain will come back when you least expect it, and aren’t prepared for it. Face the pain head on, this is the best way to let it out so that you can move on.
Find something that makes you feel better. Spend time with friends, get a fresh haircut, get some new clothes, paint your living room, go on a vacation, whatever. Do something that makes you feel good about you and helps you move forward, even if it’s only baby steps. After you’ve taken some time to wallow, it’s then time to pick yourself up and get moving forward.
That’s not to say that you won’t still feel pain, you probably will, it just means that you are starting to take small steps forward. After a while your forward steps will get bigger and bigger and before you know it, you won’t be feeling the pain anymore and it will be time to jump back into the dating pool.
During your grieving period don’t try to find quick fixes for your pain like drinking too much or hooking up with anyone you can find. These might make you feel a little better in the moment but in the long run you are just delaying the inevitable pain. That might seem like a good idea, but the sooner you face the pain the sooner you’ll get past it completely. The only way you’ll ever be free to love again and not feel pain is to face it, deal with it, and then move on. Get it over with as soon as you possibly can.
If you just don’t seem to be able to deal with things all by yourself, and your friends aren’t able to help, you may want to find a professional who can help. There is nothing wrong with using the services of a therapist. The bottom line is that you want this awful pain to go away and you want to feel good again, as soon as possible. If a professional can help you do that, why not let them? Don’t waste more time suffering through this than you have to, get help if you think you need it.
Losing someone you love is extremely difficult. No matter how much you wish there were, there is no quick fix. Just remember that whether you believe it or not right now, some day you will feel happy again and you will want to find someone else to love.